Show and Tell

I'm so irritated about my last post that I decided to take a break from all of my theology (I've been thinking about it nonstop for three days) and post some pics.
My first guitar is a bass that Andy bought me when we were dating. I loved learning it, and I enjoy playing, but I don't normally get asked to because practically everyone can play the bass. It looks black, but it's actually a dark sparkly brown. I saw it at Mars one day and loved it, and it was on sale, and since you know how much Andy and I love things on sale, he went back for it later and bought it for me -- I think 6 years ago, maybe longer.

My second guitar has a lot of sentimental value. I love my dad and used to watch him play his guitar (A D45 until it was stolen, I forgot what he has now, but it's almost as nice as the 45) when I was very little. I can remember several occasions, but for some reason I never thought of playing myself. Then I married Andy, who taught me to play, and my dad was so glad that I was learning, that he bought me this baby Taylor for my birthday -- I think that was 3 years ago.

Then, this year for Christmas my uncle Mark MADE me a guitar. Yes, he made this! The electronics and everything! Can you believe it? Look at that inlay!
The funny thing about me getting this guitar is that Andy broke his acousic guitar (and we had just sold his bright blue bass) by dropping it on its neck, so the main player in our family, Andy, didn't have a single guitar and I had three. The same day uncle Mark gave me this guitar, I was planning on giving Andy his Christmas present, which was a beautiful Martin, so it worked out in the end -- but I milked it for all it was worth, saying, "Oh Andy, I'm so sorry you still don't have a guitar..." So, of course, he was giddy, in an Andy sort of way, when he got his guitar later that afternoon.

the irrationality of Christianity

Andy listened to this radio broadcast yesterday that reminded me of a lot of what I've heard on contemporary Christian radio stations and it made me upset. He said that two professors from Christian universities were talking about how to "talk about God" to others and the "rationality of Christianity." I think that is disgusting. To suggest that Christianity is in any way rational is a hoax. It is full of mystery, almost nothing is clear, and Jesus teaches in parables, stories, not in a three point essay or thesis. As our friend Doug said, it is revelation not rationalization. Nothing about the gospel makes rational sense. To be powerful by being weak, to invite people who want to kill or hurt you over for dinner... please, it goes against everything within us. That's the whole point. We can't fully grasp it, just as we can't fully grasp God or his ways. And what we do understand must be understood with humility, with the idea that we may very well be wrong or at least, not completely right. And, the gospel is something to be wrestled with, something to have faith in, not something to dissect and be convinced of through a list of facts. AND the fact that these two guys think that the gospel is rational is a round-a-bout way of saying that all those who are not convinced must be stupid. GIVE ME A BREAK!

surprise, it looks decent

Yes, I finally called momma (which is better than mailing the quilt to her) and she gave me some cheater tips on how to make appliques. So I'll share them with you. Instead of trying the amazingly hard (props to all of you crafters who can do this) under-over method, she told me to go buy some lightweight interfacing and sew the right sides together (the side of the fabric I want to show against the glue side of the interfacing). Then I cut a small slit in the interfacing and flip it inside-out, which makes it where I can see my lovely fabric again. Then you iron and it makes a flat semi-firm disc ready to sew on with almost perfect shape (Andy reminded me that perfect circles don't occur in nature, so my more "organic" ((that's the book's word, Tran, not mine!)) circles were okay) and with much much more ease. TA-DA!
I took a few pics to show you the first step of the quilt. The circles you see here are only the ones I had to attach at the very beginning process -- there will be a lot more.
This is it all laid out on my guest bed.

Here are a couple close-ups of the fabric. A lot of it was scraps that my mom mailed me.

Here's the workspace, my kitchen. The quit is the same size as my table, so it gets a little crowded. And I did sweep when I was finished.

And just for fun here's a pic of Daphne and Wilson, because this is what they look like while I'm working. Wilson wishes I'd give him a treat, and Daphne can't remember the last time she saw her leash.

my favorite fabrics

While I was posting that pic of the piece of fabric I hope to buy, I thought it might be fun to show you my most favorite fabrics. I tried to pick ones that were very different from one another. The first is a Liberty of London print, one I'll never be able to afford. The second, I own, and am making a kid's quilt with it -- it's a Trefle Japanese fabric. The third and fourth are both FreeSpirit Fabrics, but from different designers. The last one is my next buy for myself, where I'll make a bold quilt empahsizing that beautiful rusty red color.

over my head

One theme of my life:
I try things that are way beyond my skill level, and then when it is hard, I quit.

Ugh. I am trying to make this cute pink baby quilt and things are going all wrong. I didn't think when I started that I didn't know how to applique and that I only have very basic skills in embroidery. And, I tried to get funky with the patterns and instead of sticking to three colors, I have a jumble of shades of pink. It might be hideous. It might, more likely, never be finished. I am frustrated as you may imagine. I thought about mailing it to my mom (an expert quilter), but I really want to be able to give this to my cousin at her baby shower without everyone knowing that my momma helped me.
I was going to make a second version of this same quilt for my friend's baby shower in two weeks. That won't happen now that I see how hard this is, and because it is so expensive! So, I'm going to make an alternate and easier quilt using this fabric (as soon as the month is over and I have money in my budget to buy it, which will mean I may be up all night the night before making it): Do you think green is a strange color for a baby blanket? They had light pink, which I was going to use, but they sold out. They also have orange, which I guess I could pair with red or hot pink, but I don't know if that would be too garish for a baby -- I like it, but what do you think?

emotion = amt of sleep

So I can't sleep. This is because Andy isn't home and I watched a scary movie.

So I was thinking, since I'm not really tired, that not being tired is strange. Then I remembered that in grad school all I could do is sleep and that during this past year, my first year to teach, I was dead tired by 8:30 and cranky by 9.

So, I must be really happy to be at home and away from 15 year olds.

So, I'm going to ramble until I get sleepy, or find something else to do that won't take me out of the confines of my bedroom.

Sunday I wanted to blog because it was such a crazy day. I started out really happy -- church was good and we went to lunch with the Hamilton's, Aleithia, and James. Then, I was excited because Andy said he'd take me to the new M. Night Shamalan movie, The Happening. I love Shamalan's movies, I really do. The Village and Signs are two of my favorites movies, AFTER Elf of course.
But, I was bitterly disappointed. I complained to Andy about how disappointed I was for two days afterword. All the movie was, was a pointless, absolutely pointless, display of violence -- self mutilation to be exact. It was absolutely awful to watch. Aleithia and I covered our eyes for almost all of the movie. The only good part was the casting, but then, since we couldn't watch them act, it didn't matter who the actor's were.

But at least I still have the Batman movie to be excited about. Though, Andy and I decided that I shouldn't expect much, since it couldn't possibly be as good as Batman Begins, and if it is good I'll be pleasantly surprised, rather than disappointed.

Then, Monday, I had a fantastic day. Truly fantastic. I just did housework all day and spent normal time with Andy. I love having him in the house all day. The Dorsts came over for dinner (see Jonathan Dorst below in the Damage Inc. photos) and it wasn't all that great, but at least it wasn't bad! Sometimes, when people come over my dinners don't turn out very well... And they brought thier two young daughters. Andy showed the girls a magic trick and I think I fell for him all over again. The girls were very loud, but in a funny way, and it was good for us.

Okay, now I'm very sleepy -- so goodnight.

a good busy bee day

Today I went to Angela's with Lesly and had a blast playing with Grace. I adore playing with her and today she was especially affectionate.
Then, I met Mema in Arcadia at the Pop's resturant on Historic Route 66.
www.pops66.com

She was delivering a car to Guthrie so I got to have lunch with her and Papa.
Then, I came home to try to take a nap (I didn't sleep well last night because Andy figited in his sleep about every 5 minutes)for an hour before I picked up Aleithia.
Then, Aleithia and I headed over to Lesly's to watch a movie with her kids, because Lesly's oldest daughter, Abigail, suggested that I read "The Thief Lord" by Cornelia Funke months ago -- and then she rented the movie. It was a fun, but busy day for me. I'm blessed to have friends. Tomorrow, though, I think I'll hang out with the pups and only venture out if I can convince Andy to take me to see "The Happening."
I'm sorry this isn't an interesting post; I'm sleepy. Zzzzzzzz.

headache morning - a bad excuse to skirt my responsibilities

Don't you just hate mornings when you wake up with a headache?
I think I'm just crabby because yesterday was so beautiful, and I was hoping it would last, but no... today is warm and muggy. Yesterday was cool with a nice breeze!

Oh well. To cure my headache I'm drinking coffee and shopping. I've looked through my new embroidery book and have decided to make my soon-to-be-born cousin, Tayla Lynn, a baby blanket (I know! yet another baby!) so I had to look for cute, but not too bold, pink fabrics. The momma, my cousin Connie, is decorating in the traditional Winnie the Pooh style, so I'll have to make a Pooh Pillow too. It's so exciting!

I haven't started on Max's quilt yet. I've got the fabric, but no ideas on how to make it funky.

Also on shopping... check out www.tradeasone.com, which is where I did my shopping this morning. While making coffee, I realized we were out of beans, so I had to get online to order them (nowhere in Stillwater can you buy both Fair Trade and Shade Grown beans, you can only get one or the other) and I went to the website above to buy them this time. I also like 963 coffee and Cafe Humana because they both give their revenue to the missions field (I'll put links to all three site to the right). But, on Trade As One, you can get other cool items other than coffee. Check out what I got.

It's a big bag (I never used to carry big bags, but for work I need to, and I use them for grocery shopping) made by Guatemalan village women (who are paid a fair wage so they can support themselves) from recycled ikat and recycled embroidered silk blouses.

I also got this, which I've been eye-ing for some time because I don't like my current coasters. These are made by women in the Philippines from recycled newspaper.


off topic...
today's post is going to be long because I'm procrastinating again. Gosh, now I feel guilty so I'd better hurry up.
I'll do reports on my summer reading as I go, but I'll keep it short -- promise.

ABARAT by Clive Barker.
Finished yesterday.
It's interesting to read a fantasy novel written by someone who is completely different than you. In fact, I do it a lot, because almost all the best fantasy authors are strange -- in a different way than I am strange, of course.
This book was fun for me, but I doubt any of you would enjoy it. It was a little grotesque, but even the grotesque pictures (the author did all his own illustrations and man is he a good artist) were creative and interesting to look at. With some I had to flip the page quickly. So -- overall, very creative but I don't recommend it even though I kind of liked it and am going to read the next installation.

THE SECRET MESSAGE OF JESUS by Brian McClaren.
Almost finished. It's an amazing book, I'll write on it, because it deserves it's very own post. The only complaint is the title, because it is misleading. I would have titled it something like "returning to the message of Jesus" or "the mysteries of Jesus' message." I'd change it because, with the title as is, it makes it seem like Mclaren is saying he's got a secret that no one else knows, which isn't what he is saying. Anyway, I strongly recommend this book -- in fact, you may get it for Christmas. ;)

OK I better get some chores done. While doing my chores, I'm going to listen to ELLA ENCHANTED by Gail Carson Levine.

midnight ride

When I was a preteen (or a tweenie as they are now called) I used to ride my bike alone at dusk. Then, when I got a car, I would drive alone with the windows down, sweating in the heavy summer heat (yeah, I know I said I hate being hot, but this is different), sometimes until four or five in the morning. This is, in part, because I never felt like I fit in, and my closest friends had other friends -- so I felt more comfortable alone. Whatever the reason, I now have to find ways to feed my habit of occupying my brain with anything but the norm. I don't drive around at night anymore 1. because Andy would wonder and 2. because it's wasteful 3. because it's expensive. And I kind of miss it.
So, I've been asking Andy for a bike for over a year, and finally, a couple of weeks ago, I got a bike! My friend Tran gave it to me and I love it. It's red and has a lot of gears that I don't know how to use, but I rode it tonight. I'm a little wobbly, but that didn't stop me from going as fast as I could go or picking up a injured box turtle to carry home on the way. While carrying the box turtle, who was continuously scratching me with his left hind leg, a German shepherd chased me until his owner (thank God!) called him back -- and I still kept my balance. woohoo! I make the rocking world go 'round that's for sure.
Anyway, back to the point, there's something very calming about riding your bike in the summer at dusk. The lightening bugs, the people on their porches, the smell of cut grass, the heavy humid air, and the wind in your ears, is all wondrous and lovely. And it makes me happy.

school is over

I've never in my life been more excited for the coming of summer. I hate hot weather. I have to fight from becoming monster-emily whenever it is hot and humid outside. And yet, I'm so very excited.

Whoopee no more Perry. This is sad for me, of course, because I didn't want to leave, but I'm seeing the good in it -- it is a completely fresh start with new students. I can try again to be the teacher I want to be. And I'm upgrading to sophomores and teaching yearbook, which should be a blast. I'm all about electives. I (and friends of mine) prayed that I would only get one job offer, so that I wouldn't have to choose. But we were praying that the choice would be between two other positions that I badly wanted. Both turned me down, with encouragement and complements, but the next day (what's up with God giving me "but the next day"s all the time? that wasn't a complaint, it's just funny) I was offered a position at Wellston. The second interview in a line of interviews this spring. I immediately liked this principal and the school, but I didn't think about it after the possibility of an art job or a charter school job. But anyway, I guess it is where I'm supposed to be -- so I hope I do well.

This is my first week of summer and I've spent it working at Nature Camp where my group, the Awesome Possum Posse, a group of eleven 6-year-olds, are giving me a great week. I just realized that although I'm frustrated with how the camp is organized and although I'm worn out by the tykes, I'm really having a good time. I adore the kids and seriously think about baby-snatching. Just as I used to think with Malee, who first stole my heart, and how I think about Grace now. There's one little girl in particular, Chrissa who blows me away. She ALWAYS needs a drink, but she's incredibly brave and polite. "Miss Emily," she says every five minutes, "may I go get my water bottle out of my cubby?" I love her face. She has almost white hair, a little upturned nose, and dark brown eyes. Yesterday she climbed the highest in this old cedar tree and I asked her to make her way down because, as I told her, she was making me nervous. As she climbed down I positioned myself, while panicking, to catch her when she fell. Well, just as I turned my head, she slips. And I turn to catch her, but I miss and she falls seven feet. Miraculously she didn't hit her fragile body on a lower branch, but landed on a clear patch of dirt. I freaked out internally, but just looked at her to see her reaction so I would know what to do. She picked up her head, looked at me, and said, "Wow, that hurt," then she stood up and said, "let's go catch up with the rest of the group now." I hope to remember that next time I fall or hurt myself.
I could talk a lot about the other kids as well, there are many stories in my head ready to come out, but I'm sleepy and there's still one day left of camp.

Damage Inc

These are pictures from the 4th show of Damage Inc, the Metallica cover band Andy is in. The guy with the gotee is our pastor, Jonathan Dorst, and the bass player is Scott, and the older guy with the glasses is Doug, and his son, Matthew, is the younger guy in glasses.

"Did it think you were its Daddy?" -- Bob

Here's Andy, happily holding a baby Black Vulture. We also call them Vulgars, but actually, they are beautiful and interesting animals. One of their defense mechanisms is to vomit all over the would be villan as this one did to Andy. I asked him if it prepared him for parenthood (since we've been talking about the baby time table), since the thing was ugly, helpless, and barfed all over the place... he said yes. :)

Max is here!

Meet my new nephew, Maxwell Boone Cooper, born the 16th at 10pm and who is 8 lbs and 21 inches long.
Proud parents: my bubba, Jacob, and his lovely wife Kimberly.
I can't wait to see him!

bunny love

my first two bunnies and my first embroidery attempt!

Audrey Della Beall, our niece, is born

proud parents: Andy's sister Emily and her husband Joe.
Yes, weird, huh, another Emily loves the name Audrey. Too bad she got to it first, but what a lovely baby to bestow with that lovely name.

blog on hiatus

I'm just too busy with school. I'll start up over the summer because then I'll hopefully be making crafty things for Maxwell, my soon-to-be-born nephew, and my even-sooner-to-be-born, but as of yet unnamed niece, and little miss Gracie Hamilton and will want to show them (the toys and the cutie-pies) off.

buying things ethically

check this out:
http://tradeasone.com/

good day

I have "walking pneumonia" and my students were wackos today, but I'm having a good day.
One of my kids who hardly ever does any work besides studying his eyelids came after school today and did his entire review for the exam. I was so proud of him.
And Andy and I have been getting along well, which really helps my outlook on things.
I finally bought a new trashcan -- the metal kind that doesn't stain like our old one did. I've been waiting for one since last April, I know that sounds silly, but we just never got around to saving that extra $30 when we had so many other things to save for.
I want to write more, but it is going to have to wait until later.
I hope everyone is well.
Oh, that reminds me. Please pray for my friend Jamie's sister who was in a serious car wreck and I think her neck is broken. Their father is trying to get a flight home from Japan so her mom is all alone. Please pray for Jamie's sister and mom.

"shut down to a whisper"

I'm feeling quiet tonight, so it is funny to me that I felt like writing.
Andy's at Damage Inc. practice. They've made a DVD that he loves to show off if you're interested.
As soon as I can figure out how to make the clips into managable sizes I'll post it here.
Well, my momma bought me a new sewing machine (the last one she gave me on my 11th birthday and I still had it) and I made a pillow tonight on it. It's very cute. It was a trial run for all the stuffed bunnies and turtles I'm about to make for the slew of babies that are about to be born into my family.
So far my sister-in-law Emily is having a girl in March. My cousin, Elizabeth, is having a boy, Cooper Knapp, in Feb. and my big brother's wife is having a boy the day after my birthday in April, his name will be Maxwell Boone Cooper. Cool name, huh. very Texan to me.
I'm listening to A Fine Frenzy and it makes me feel alone.
Kinda like Radio Head or Tori Amos used to make me feel.
I went back to school today. I was surprised to see that some of my students may have actually missed me. I was crabby by the end of the day so my poor 7th hour was dealt with harshly, but they need a kick in the pants.
Andy and I have done a complete overhaul of our house. We've gotten rid of probably a third of our belongings (I let go of 11 pairs of shoes... I was ashamed to know that I had so many to let go of! One pair I forgot I had!) and have begun being more GREEN. Why? Well, because as the bumper sticker says (if you see one rip it off for me) "God is Green." We've always felt that living simply is better for our checkbook, but we didn't realize how much it impacted our poor neighbors, you know the other 90% of the population.
So, if you'd like, I'll mail you a copy of "Serve God, Save the Planet" or if you're the theological type (I'm not, I prefered the practicality of the first title) I'll mail you "For the Beauty of the Earth." OR better yet, Inter-Library loan them from your local library. I'll tell you how to do that if you need help.
I'm out of words and it's past 9. I'm sick with a old bad cold and I'm worn out from talking to more than one human being in a day. Breaks are good, but I have anxiety when I have to get back out of myself and out of my nest.
God bless you in the new year.
Oh - almost forgot.
My new year's resolution.
May I be a better steward of the blessings God has given me. Especially, my time, my health, my family, my friends, energy, food, the Earth.
I love you, God. I love you. Thank you for your abundance and please keep me from taking advantage.

cookie fun yum yum

Audi and I made this cookies the other weekend when she came up to visit.

my momma

http://www.jointhejourney.com/Traveler-s-Log.26.0.html?&tx_watermarktravelers_pi1%5BshowUid%5D=1080&cHash=85d3c35d52

please consider helping me and my kids

https://www.legacymissions.org/ambassador.php?aid=183

finally some sense

"But here's a question worth considering: Why does Pullman have this wrongful impression of the church in the first place? Could it be that he's encountered arrogant, judgmental Christians? Could it be, to some degree, Christians' fault?

At any rate, no, don't be afraid. The gospel will survive the publishing phenomenon of Pullman's trilogy—and any movies that come from it—without so much as a scratch. It's not worth getting all worked up about it."

Christianity Today

Thanksgiving

I'm having a good Thanksgiving. It's nice to be in Dallas and get away from thinking about insane 14 year-olds.
Let's see... I'm also thankful for:
1. Andy
2. my family
3. my friends
4. for God being Himself
5. for books
6. my health
7. for music
8. food! Not including gross green bean casserole or dressing.

I'm making my first buttermilk pie tomorrow -- so exciting. I'm just so very happy to not be around any preteens. Besides Caroline, Andy's sister. She's a fun preteen.
I hope you're having a great day too.

ugh.

Teaching is the pits!
Some of my 8th graders couldn't identify a verb! A VERB!!!!!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

seizures scare me

I'm sure they scare everyone, but I feel so helpless and useless and angry when they happen to other people.
Daphne had seizures when she was little and it terrified me. I would hold her while her body jerked and she peed on herself.
(And she's a DOG for goodness's sake -- I never imagined seeing it happen to a boy in real life!)
Today while I was on bus duty a boy (in freezing cold weather with no coat on) had a seizure. He's known to do this from time to time but I had only witnessed the aftermaths. Today I was walking in a line with four other boys and he just dropped to the ground. On of the boys said, "Oh God, Devin is having another seizure." I told him to run to the office and tell them. Thank God that Devin was walking on the grass and not on the curb where I was. He is a very big guy and his seizure was violent. I tried to keep his head on the grass not knowing if I was making him uncomfortable by moving the hair out of his face and keeping my hands on him. Was he embarressed? Scared? Ticked off that this was happening at school again? It scared me. I kept thinking "what if this boy were my son, how would I feel? what would I do?" I wanted to hold this huge boy in my arms and tell him that I hated what was happening to him and wish it were me instead. But he's almost a man and I'm not allowed to do those things. I'm not entirely sure how I feel now that it is all over, but I know it is still bothering me.

it's just going to get into a ridiculous Russian doll situation

why? why? why exactly?

you're my holiday

It's Fall break. Monday and Tuesday night I worked 12 hours at school with the regular school hours and then parent/teacher conferences. Mostly, it was okay. I only had one parent who accused me for her child's problems... that was depressing, but interesting also because as the coach down the hall sang, "spotted dogs have spotted puppies." I hope that isn't always true and I still think that kids are responsible for their own choices (something I've had to deal with in my own life when I wanted to blame my parents or my situation), but it was interesting to see students with their parents... veeeeeeeeeeeeery interesting.
Now I've got five days off including the weekend and I'm wasting the day. It's nice but I'm a little lonely b/c Andy is out of town. But he'll be back tomorrow just in time for his Metallica tribute band's premire. I'm going to make a groupie t-shirt tomorrow with a skull on it. It's going to be awesome. ;)
I PROMISE I'll upload a video on youtube of the show.
For now I'm sitting in my sweats wrapped in a quilt drinking Sam's Choice raspberry flavored water and watching old Ugly Betty episodes. I want my husband home.

that stinks

"Starbucks drinks are notoriously high in calories, and their autumn special is no exception. The Venti Pumpkin Spice Latte weighs in at 510 calories and 20 grams of fat." MSN Health

bummed for dumb reasons

It will probably seem silly to you.
But I get depressed when friends of mine get pregnant.
I rejoice with them, but I'm jealous too. Not in a malicious way, but in a bummed way.
I want so badly to be at that stage of my life. And I'm often frustrated with God and Andy for keeping me from it. I know that's stupid. But emotions aren't logical most of the time.
And this friend is pregnant with twins. Twins! :(

yep!

Hey there peeps.
I'm still tired. I'm still so busy that my digestive system is in constant protest from the stress. ha.
I'm a little too fat for my bridesmaid's dress. Bummer. ;(
But I've been practicing my songs for the wedding and wether I look good, I know I'll sound good. I normally don't worry too much about my weight. But I'm a little embarrassed because I'll be seeing some people who are used to seeing me thrity pounds lighter. I feel like a failure or something, which is stupid because no one expects me to be pretty and even if they did, why should I care and what a stupid goal for my life. It is a goal, I won't deny it, but it isn't even on the list. Hence the weight gain, right? yep!
Oh well, who gives a crap.
Teaching is the hardest thing I've ever done. I'm so tired and the weeks are rushing by. I can't tell if this is a good thing or bad. I want to be focused on my kids but instead am focused on lesson plans, grading, and policy, and, of course, family matters. Daphne and Wilson are suffering, my body is suffering (even if my mind and heart are growing), and I have no stinking free time! I want so badly to bake some cinnamon rolls and take a bath and read a ridiculously long fiction novel.
I'm going to quit whining and catch some sleep.
I hope everyone is doing well!
Good news: Keira Bowman, Jason and Erin's daughter, seems to be beating her cancer! check out her blog for details. Praise God for health and for miracles.
Praise God for work and purpose and kids.

update

Hello!
I think I'm doing better with teaching (if you've heard me complain lately). It's hard to remove yourself from it, because that doesn't seem like what you should do. But it is what I have to do because I'm not there to be their friend and I take the things they say too personally.
We're almost finished with our first novel. The other classes haven't even begun one yet and I'm wondering if I'm pushing these kids too fast. But then those who haven't even begun the book yet wouldn't do it anyway and quite a few have already finished it. I assigned "The Giver" to the 8th graders and "F 451" to the 9th. I think the next book I'll do it "Lord of the Flies" and then a newer book, "Monster."
I feel like my life is grading and eating sugary things. When I get home, I'm more exhasuted than I can remember being. I'm glad that I'm only doing this for a few years because I don't like the pace. I feel like I'm in grad school again, but busier, because I'm constantly under stress and I'm floundering around.
But I am trusting God to help me. I pray each morning that I would be the teacher they need and that I would reach as many as want to come and that God would help me be someone they can respect. I also pray that he would help me see them as he does. I'm still having trouble with one student, T. W., and nothing short of God changing his attuitude or giving me guidance will help this situation.

Daler mehndi

bust a move!

teaching is a lot harder than I thought it would be

I'm having a really hard time. Here are some of the reasons:
1. I'm not good at classroom management (trying to fix this)
2. I actually care what a bunch of 14-16 year olds think of me
3. About 20% of the kids are disrespectful, loud, manipulative, lazy, and selfish, which ruins it for the rest of the class b/c of reason #1 and #2.

So tomorrow I'm going to try my best to lay down the law.
But seriously, this is so hard that I almost want to quit.
Which is awful b/c teaching is what I've always said I would do. The kids complain at the smallest assignment and tell me that my assignments are "retarded" or they just tell me that they don't have time to complete them when I've just given them 30 minutes to do the project!
My kids, I think, will be home schooled or put in private schools. Andy has always said that is what we would do with our kids, but I didn't understand why until this past week. My high school classes weren't like this... even if we hated the teacher we only made fun of them behind their back and I don't think any of us TRIED to make teachers cry or TRIED to get into trouble. Just thinking about going back tomorrow makes me tired.

I know it will get better, but right now it's crappy.

my classroom

Tunak Tunak Tun (Best Copy)

um...

tomorrow it begins

Yes, tomorrow is the first day of school for Perry Mid-High.
I think I'm psyched. I'm getting psyched. Yesterday I was just nervous.
I have one huge class of ninth grades and one teeny class of them... 4 students, that's it.
Then I have four classes of eight graders with about twenty students in each.
I'm hoping that the 12th grade teacher can find enough funds to purchase my book list for the eight graders.
I asked for:
Monster by Walter Dean Meyers
Howl's Moving Castle by Diana Wynne Jones (then we'll watch the anime movie based on the book. I'll teach her more literary Fire and Hemlock to the ninth graders)
and The House of the Scorpion by Nancy Farmer.
Knowing that I may get this wishlist and am not stuck teaching Flowers for Algernon (what a bummmer that book is) or The Outsiders (which just generally stinks) makes me very happy.

I also think I'll do a unit on fairy tales for the 8th graders and mythology for the 9th.
I have to do a couple of Shakespeare plays for some reason, but I'm the only English teacher at Perry who thinks this may not be the best idea, so we'll perform them in class or do something to make them fun.
I also have The Lord of the Flies, Fahrenheit 451, The Canterbury Tales, and To Kill a Mockingbird at my disposal.
I'm not sure how I'll fit any of that together yet, but if the students are willing (and I've heard they normally are at Perry) we'll have a lot of fun.

Should Wilson be Neuticled?

http://www.neuticles.com/
My vet said Neuticles are not ethical. Is that true?

We feel the removal of a God given body part - leaving a male pet looking unwhole after the traditional form of neutering is not only unethical but unnatural. With Neuticles it's like nothing ever changed.


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Some pets develop scar tissue. It is totally harmless and does not disfigure the Neuticle in any way. Scar tissue is a micro-thin film that may surround the Neuticles making it feel firmer to the human touch. While this is not a concern to most pet owners the way to eliminate potential development is to gently massage the Neuticles weekly to break up any possible formations or to Neuticle their pet with the Neuticles UltraPLUS which features a special textured exterior which virtually eliminates the risk of potential scar tissue development.

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Wilson is 9 months old!

tomorrow it begins

I start my teacher-in-service time tomorrow. I'm a little nervous and I either caught a cold in my classroom or I'm highly allergic to the large amounts of dust I stirred up by cleaning the computers and the chalk board. I freaked out by the feeling of chalk on my fingers but no one was there to see. Just so you know, I also can't stand the feel of newspaper for very long and I absolutely will avoid touching velvet. Strange, I know, but I've found out recently that other people have even stranger quirks. My head feels like cotton that is being pounded upon so I think I'll try to go ahead and get to bed. Ugh, but I still have dishes to do. Which reminds me of an awesome quote that I just read off of Doug Hill's facebook page: "Everyone wants to save the world; no one wants to help mom do the dishes."

the coveted car

Of course, I prefer the Versa, but Andy is afraid it is too small to be very safe.
This is a Mazda 3 5-door.

Stephen Colbert I don't feel like dancin

consistently amazed by genius of American inventors

http://www.catgoods.com/index.html

Great Sand Dunes National Park a.k.a. the happiness tree grows in the Rockies

quotes for the current me

Donald Miller wrote, "It doesn't make a great deal of sense that a person who went to Bible college should have a better shot at heaven than a person who didn't, and it doesn't make a lot of sense either that somebody sentimental and spiritual has greater access."

I struggle with that a lot b/c I'm not outwardly emotional or as sentimental as others and I used to think that it was a fault in me. It's not, it is just me.

"I think it is more safe and more beautiful and more true to believe that when a person dies he will go and be with God because, on earth, he had come to know Him, that he had a relational encounter with God not unlike meeting a friend or a lover or having a father or taking a bride, and that in order to engage God he gave up everything, repented and changed his life, as this sort of extreme sacrifice is what is required if true love is to grow. We would expect nothing less is marriage; why should we accept anything less is becoming unified with Christ?"

I read this in Zambia and it gave me hope. I want to yearn for my God as I yearn for Andy. I want to turn to Him as I would love to do to a close friend. I'm working on this; I'm hoping and praying for this.

And later in "Searching For God Knows What" he also wrote this: "the thing about being religious [is that] it isn't this safe place in the soul you can go, it has just as many booby traps as any other thing you can get yourself into. It's a bloody brothel, in fact. Jesus even says there will be people who will heal other people, but when they die He is going to say He didn't KNOW them. It is somewhat amazing to me, once again, that all Christianity, all our grids and mathematics and truths and different groups subscribing to different theological ideas, boils down to our KNOWING Jesus and his KNOWING us."