yep!

Hey there peeps.
I'm still tired. I'm still so busy that my digestive system is in constant protest from the stress. ha.
I'm a little too fat for my bridesmaid's dress. Bummer. ;(
But I've been practicing my songs for the wedding and wether I look good, I know I'll sound good. I normally don't worry too much about my weight. But I'm a little embarrassed because I'll be seeing some people who are used to seeing me thrity pounds lighter. I feel like a failure or something, which is stupid because no one expects me to be pretty and even if they did, why should I care and what a stupid goal for my life. It is a goal, I won't deny it, but it isn't even on the list. Hence the weight gain, right? yep!
Oh well, who gives a crap.
Teaching is the hardest thing I've ever done. I'm so tired and the weeks are rushing by. I can't tell if this is a good thing or bad. I want to be focused on my kids but instead am focused on lesson plans, grading, and policy, and, of course, family matters. Daphne and Wilson are suffering, my body is suffering (even if my mind and heart are growing), and I have no stinking free time! I want so badly to bake some cinnamon rolls and take a bath and read a ridiculously long fiction novel.
I'm going to quit whining and catch some sleep.
I hope everyone is doing well!
Good news: Keira Bowman, Jason and Erin's daughter, seems to be beating her cancer! check out her blog for details. Praise God for health and for miracles.
Praise God for work and purpose and kids.

update

Hello!
I think I'm doing better with teaching (if you've heard me complain lately). It's hard to remove yourself from it, because that doesn't seem like what you should do. But it is what I have to do because I'm not there to be their friend and I take the things they say too personally.
We're almost finished with our first novel. The other classes haven't even begun one yet and I'm wondering if I'm pushing these kids too fast. But then those who haven't even begun the book yet wouldn't do it anyway and quite a few have already finished it. I assigned "The Giver" to the 8th graders and "F 451" to the 9th. I think the next book I'll do it "Lord of the Flies" and then a newer book, "Monster."
I feel like my life is grading and eating sugary things. When I get home, I'm more exhasuted than I can remember being. I'm glad that I'm only doing this for a few years because I don't like the pace. I feel like I'm in grad school again, but busier, because I'm constantly under stress and I'm floundering around.
But I am trusting God to help me. I pray each morning that I would be the teacher they need and that I would reach as many as want to come and that God would help me be someone they can respect. I also pray that he would help me see them as he does. I'm still having trouble with one student, T. W., and nothing short of God changing his attuitude or giving me guidance will help this situation.

Daler mehndi

bust a move!

teaching is a lot harder than I thought it would be

I'm having a really hard time. Here are some of the reasons:
1. I'm not good at classroom management (trying to fix this)
2. I actually care what a bunch of 14-16 year olds think of me
3. About 20% of the kids are disrespectful, loud, manipulative, lazy, and selfish, which ruins it for the rest of the class b/c of reason #1 and #2.

So tomorrow I'm going to try my best to lay down the law.
But seriously, this is so hard that I almost want to quit.
Which is awful b/c teaching is what I've always said I would do. The kids complain at the smallest assignment and tell me that my assignments are "retarded" or they just tell me that they don't have time to complete them when I've just given them 30 minutes to do the project!
My kids, I think, will be home schooled or put in private schools. Andy has always said that is what we would do with our kids, but I didn't understand why until this past week. My high school classes weren't like this... even if we hated the teacher we only made fun of them behind their back and I don't think any of us TRIED to make teachers cry or TRIED to get into trouble. Just thinking about going back tomorrow makes me tired.

I know it will get better, but right now it's crappy.

my classroom

Tunak Tunak Tun (Best Copy)

um...

tomorrow it begins

Yes, tomorrow is the first day of school for Perry Mid-High.
I think I'm psyched. I'm getting psyched. Yesterday I was just nervous.
I have one huge class of ninth grades and one teeny class of them... 4 students, that's it.
Then I have four classes of eight graders with about twenty students in each.
I'm hoping that the 12th grade teacher can find enough funds to purchase my book list for the eight graders.
I asked for:
Monster by Walter Dean Meyers
Howl's Moving Castle by Diana Wynne Jones (then we'll watch the anime movie based on the book. I'll teach her more literary Fire and Hemlock to the ninth graders)
and The House of the Scorpion by Nancy Farmer.
Knowing that I may get this wishlist and am not stuck teaching Flowers for Algernon (what a bummmer that book is) or The Outsiders (which just generally stinks) makes me very happy.

I also think I'll do a unit on fairy tales for the 8th graders and mythology for the 9th.
I have to do a couple of Shakespeare plays for some reason, but I'm the only English teacher at Perry who thinks this may not be the best idea, so we'll perform them in class or do something to make them fun.
I also have The Lord of the Flies, Fahrenheit 451, The Canterbury Tales, and To Kill a Mockingbird at my disposal.
I'm not sure how I'll fit any of that together yet, but if the students are willing (and I've heard they normally are at Perry) we'll have a lot of fun.

Should Wilson be Neuticled?

http://www.neuticles.com/
My vet said Neuticles are not ethical. Is that true?

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Wilson is 9 months old!

tomorrow it begins

I start my teacher-in-service time tomorrow. I'm a little nervous and I either caught a cold in my classroom or I'm highly allergic to the large amounts of dust I stirred up by cleaning the computers and the chalk board. I freaked out by the feeling of chalk on my fingers but no one was there to see. Just so you know, I also can't stand the feel of newspaper for very long and I absolutely will avoid touching velvet. Strange, I know, but I've found out recently that other people have even stranger quirks. My head feels like cotton that is being pounded upon so I think I'll try to go ahead and get to bed. Ugh, but I still have dishes to do. Which reminds me of an awesome quote that I just read off of Doug Hill's facebook page: "Everyone wants to save the world; no one wants to help mom do the dishes."

the coveted car

Of course, I prefer the Versa, but Andy is afraid it is too small to be very safe.
This is a Mazda 3 5-door.

Stephen Colbert I don't feel like dancin

consistently amazed by genius of American inventors

http://www.catgoods.com/index.html

Great Sand Dunes National Park a.k.a. the happiness tree grows in the Rockies

quotes for the current me

Donald Miller wrote, "It doesn't make a great deal of sense that a person who went to Bible college should have a better shot at heaven than a person who didn't, and it doesn't make a lot of sense either that somebody sentimental and spiritual has greater access."

I struggle with that a lot b/c I'm not outwardly emotional or as sentimental as others and I used to think that it was a fault in me. It's not, it is just me.

"I think it is more safe and more beautiful and more true to believe that when a person dies he will go and be with God because, on earth, he had come to know Him, that he had a relational encounter with God not unlike meeting a friend or a lover or having a father or taking a bride, and that in order to engage God he gave up everything, repented and changed his life, as this sort of extreme sacrifice is what is required if true love is to grow. We would expect nothing less is marriage; why should we accept anything less is becoming unified with Christ?"

I read this in Zambia and it gave me hope. I want to yearn for my God as I yearn for Andy. I want to turn to Him as I would love to do to a close friend. I'm working on this; I'm hoping and praying for this.

And later in "Searching For God Knows What" he also wrote this: "the thing about being religious [is that] it isn't this safe place in the soul you can go, it has just as many booby traps as any other thing you can get yourself into. It's a bloody brothel, in fact. Jesus even says there will be people who will heal other people, but when they die He is going to say He didn't KNOW them. It is somewhat amazing to me, once again, that all Christianity, all our grids and mathematics and truths and different groups subscribing to different theological ideas, boils down to our KNOWING Jesus and his KNOWING us."

More Zambia Pictures

Sarah Scurry sharing the gospel with Audi via the EvangaCube.

Audi putting shoes on one of her boys.

My boys (Gift, Daniel, and Charles) playing a clapping game Audrey and I taught them.

Me with Idah.

Princess, Eneydia, Bridget, and Rachel

Beauty, Idah, Josephine, and Madalisto (I gave her that name -- it means blessing. Her original name was Misozi, which means tears.)

Gift, Thelma, Ruth, and Matongo

Me and Barbara with all the girls

This is Clara.

preparing to be disappointed?

Should I be, really?
Or is it best that I'm hopeful about how my class will listen to me and engage themselves in their own education?
I'm just simply scared. I don't know what I'm doing and I'm afraid that I won't be prepared.
Right now I'm trying to develop my class rules and policies and syllabi. That alone is making me sweat and making my stomach ache.
But I'm going to do it -- and I'm going to do it today, even if I must modify it continuously through the next three weeks before school begins.
How do you facilitate engaged learning? How does a teacher teach without teaching? (Meaning: how do I get the boogers to motivate themselves and thereby give them the single most important thing they'll need in life? Well, besides a Savior.)

Hey peeps, I'm back

Here are a few pics. I'll write TONS later.
This is Sheema. It's the staple meal for Zambians -- they eat it for lunch and dinner.

This is me eating Sheema. Got to love the hair. My partner, Daudi Lifa, who made the meal, is next to me.

This is Audrey with Chisomo. Remember his name, you'll hear more about him soon.

Here are the rest of her boys with her partner, Mutale Damon, and our helper Felix who is wearing the green cap. (My group pics will come later, they are being developed.) The boys are holding certificates we made for them. They say "I am an Ambassador of Truth" and they have our pictures with the kiddos on them. They are very proud of these -- most have never seen a picture of themselves and most do not own anything, even the shoes on their feet are borrowed. When I gave my first group (girls) their certificates they told me (well, so my translator said) that they could not look at them for fear that their tears would hurt the photo.

The following pictures are of our second week where my group of boys prayed for Audrey's group of girls (we were teaching them to care for their brothers and sisters). These two pics are the girls returning the kindness.

whew!

OK so my passport came yesterday morning and I'm leaving today. I'm sure it wouldn't have come if 1. loads of people hadn't prayed for me, 2. Andy's Papa hadn't remembered that he knew the Senator's secretary, and 3. if the Senator's assistant hadn't called and asked for them to overnight it to me. YAY!

Yes, I'm getting nervous. My stomach hurts when I get stressed out and I feel like I can't calm down. So I'm just going to try to focus on enjoying my day with Andy. And if you like, you should contact him and hang out with him while I'm gone. I bet he'll be pretty lonely.

We're driving to Dallas tonight (hopefully we'll see fireworks) and I have to be at the airport in the morning at 8am. Then it is off to Miami and then off to London where I'll spend a whole day hanging out with my sister and her British fiancee. I'll visit one or two places and eat fish 'n chips! Then off to Zambia where we will settle in and be trained to work at the camp!

Keep praying for us! Thank you!

sorry no blogging

I'm sorry I haven't blogged and will not blog for awhile. I'm trying to get everything prepared for my trip to Zambia (my passport STILL isn't here!) and writing thank-you notes and freaking out about the upcoming school year and reading a very VERY long fantasy novel... um... and trying to prepare meals for Andy (for the time I'm gone) and clean the house -- I just don't have brain power to think of things to say.

I hopefully will post updates while on my trip.

;)