Saturday, September 27, 2008

jib jab!

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Sunday, September 21, 2008

the woes and wonders of pregnancy

Today is officially the start of week 6! That means baby has a brain and a spine and is developing his or her heart (but it won't be four chambers until later on, it'll just be two). Baby is growing from the size of a sesame seed to the size of a blueberry.

I'm consistently nauseated but haven't vomited yet.
The smell of maple especially turns my stomach and Friday I suddenly couldn't eat the lunch I've eaten every day for over seven months -- a soy "chicken" patty on a wheat bun. I couldn't choke it down. So that night at the football game, I wolfed down two hot dogs and a huge pickle. (A fellow teacher walked by when I was eating my pickle and said, "oh, how typical -- where's your ice cream?").

So I'm craving pickles, and grilled onions in tortillas, chocolate milk, and fruit smoothies. And hot dogs taste better than anything. Not healthy for baby though, so I'm trying to include veggies and non-processed meats. It's apparently not so common to have such strong nausea so early (it began at 5 weeks) I'm taking this as a sign that hopefully baby is very healthy or maybe I have twins. I hope I have twins.

I've had a couple of other symptoms rear their ugly heads as well. Twice I've cried my eyes out over something completely silly (like Andy saying hi to the dogs when he came home one day before he said hi to me). And I've had flashes of blinding jealousy or fury, and very high highs which come whenever I sing Lori Chaffer's song that she wrote for her son in my head... which goes, "welcome outside of your mother's womb, I know that it's frightening, but now there's more room. Just think of all of the great things you'll do, just by you being you."

Saturday, September 20, 2008

your dreams have come true, now what?

I'm finally pregnant.

And it's a little hard to believe. I mean, I know I am because I'm nauseated most of the day, certain body parts are hurting, and I had a positive test a few weeks back. But it's hard to wrap my mind around it. For the last five years I've been whining about wanting to be pregnant and now I am. It kind of shut me up for awhile. I was giddy for the first few days, but now I only get giddy if I'm talking to my family about it. A person can't stay giddy I don't think, and I am tired, but still. Or maybe it's Andy. He has a way of mellowing out any giddiness and he still seems more worried about the future than excited. But he does assure me that he is excited, way deep down. My mind is wheeling with "what if" games and I can't seem to silence it. Boy or Girl? Are we moving or not? Who will the baby look like? When will I be able to get an ultrasound so I can see my baby? If we move, are we moving in town or out of the state again? What are the dogs going to be like around the baby? Will I have enough time for them? Will I continue to teach? Will I get fatter? When will I have a big tummy? Will my child love me when they are older? Will they be honest and honorable like their dad? Will they be quick and caring like me? Will they not like onions like their dad? Will they like to play board games with me? How close will they be to their cousins and grandparents if we live far away? How can we manage the holidays without those holidays becoming un-enjoyable? And such. I'll stop now.

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

the problem I have with politics

The problem I have with politics isn't politics in itself per se. I have a problem with people (yes I'm saying it again) who think they have a hold on the TRUTH. I think, in particular with my parents' generation, but I've seen this in my fifteen-year-old students as well, is with over-confidence. They don't second guess themselves or their beliefs or their reasoning. While I know I don't do this all the time, I try to. I'm still not sure who I'm voting for, not because I'm terribly uninformed (as someone in my family said I was), although I know I should be more informed and am working on that. I'm still not sure who I'm voting for because I'm trying to second guess my decision and make the best decision I can, not just for me, but for the majority of Americans and for the world. And I don't know which candidate can do that.

I'm not gun-hoe about Obama, but on the other hand I'm disturbed by the Palin mania that has infected 80% of the people I know (seriously I saw a woman at a football game wearing a shirt that had Palin's face super-imposed on to Rosie the Riveter) and I'm disturbed by her and McCain's take on the environment. I am, of course, bothered by Obama's lack of experience and think he's ignorant of nuclear technology (something which a presidential candidate should not be). So, who knows. And really I'm wondering how much it truly matters, which makes me not want to vote while at the same time my "responsible American" voice is telling me that of course I must vote.

Anyway, it seems to me that misplaced confidence and ignorance about science and a tendency to look over the root of problems (like with oil) will make our country die hard and fast; like Rome. And we'll take the global poor with us when we go. And I don't really see a way out. I think there are movements of skepticism and the emerging church who will work wonders in teaching the public to second guess themselves, as it has for me, but I feel it is too little too late -- I hope it isn't. I hope to see an educated, skeptical, caring populace rise up who will cooperate with others for the benefit of the world and future generations.

So, in a few words, I'm sick of the circus. And I have to watch, because still don't know who to vote for.

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

NoiseTrade Widget

sick days

I'm at home sick today. Even though I've slept ten hours already I think I'm going to take another nap. I'm actually on the mend, I just couldn't handle my students when I didn't have energy or a voice. It seems like I get a bad respiratory infection every nine weeks. I don't get sick when I'm not around kids. GermX did not help this year, but enough of my whining.

My students are publishing their first newspaper installment of the year and I'm a little worried for them. They are seniors and therefore not up for teaching (trying to show them how to write better) so I don't know how to delicately say, "this sucks and you can do better." They did an interview of me, to introduce the new teacher to the school, and I gave elaborate and well written answers to their questions. I really worked hard at it. But they cut it down so that it was the minimum requirement of 250 words and it was trite and it didn't flow well and it was just, well, crap. I hate to redo the article for the student, but I also hate that an interview with me is going to be portrayed in a bad piece of writing.

Other than that I'm having no real problems with my kids. The only two issues are: one, that all the students describe things as being "gay," which is offensive and therefore not allowed in my classroom, and two, that some of my male students are whining about detentions... that they are unfair (puh-leaz) and that they are going to tell their dads and I hope their dads tell them the same thing I did, which was, "suck it up and act like a man; pay the consequences of your actions."
Besides those two very small things, I adore my kids. They are hilarious and I can't blame them for being apathetic about grammar and about the classics. I was too once. They are all so unique, even in their trying-to-be-cool emo or hick (yes, those are the only two options in Wellston) sameness.

I've got more news, but no more energy to type it. Till next time, have a great week and may the Lord keep your from germs and bless you with a love for others.

Monday, September 08, 2008

my new classroom

It's messy, and I thought about picking it up before I took pics, but then, that wouldn't be my true classroom. Since these photos were taken, I've added a Howl's Moving Castle and Lord of the Rings poster and a lot of student artwork will be going up soon.