Saturday, March 10, 2007

what do you do with weekends when you're all grown up?

So I don't have to study on Saturdays any longer. It's weird! Not that I actually studied, but I spent my day specifically finding things to do other than studying... like watch Andy study or bake or garden or something. Now that I don't have to avoid my work I'm not sure what I want to do.
Mostly I suppose weekends are simply a break from the day-to-day grind of the workweek. But if you love your job would you still need the break? I don't know. I don't love my job. It's a pretty good job and I'm thankful for it, though, don't get me wrong. But I do work in a cubicle and I do work for some people who ask me to do silly things or things that I think they should do themselves. I know this is a problem of mine, I complain about it at every position I've held where I'm not left to manage myself. But seriously, it seems to me that people enjoy being at the top so they may boss around others. Notice I said boss rather than manage. When my supervisor makes sure that we're all doing something and it's not the same thing (so that the work isn't done twice) that's management. When a person comes to you asking you to make copies when they are standing next to the copier, that's bossing. Or when a person chides you for making friendly conversation (really - why do people want the worker bees not to like each other, not to speak, not to be humans, but robots) and then walks down the hall to schmooze with the brass -- that's bossing, and it makes me furious. And I'm so hot headed and so prideful (I know it's wrong, I'm working on being humble) that I'm afraid I'm going to say something that will get me fired. Andy reminds me that working, which includes working at positions I don't enjoy, is for the goal of paying student loans, which will enable us to buy a home and save, which will enable us to start our family, which is my biggest hope and dream. That's all very comforting and wonderful for him to tell me, but I'm impatient. So yeah, I'm praying for patience and a humble heart.
Back to the Saturday. Well, I have a few projects and I suppose I'll go do them now, when I would prefer to say in my jammies and read a book. Staying in my jammies isn't bad, but I suppose I can't let my chores wait forever -- then they pile up and it is harder to deal with them.
I hope you have a wonderful Saturday.

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